askingalexandergaskarth:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2007

15 hours ago // 105,360 notes

thecompanionsdoctor:

Whenever my friend says goodnight to me on Skype he sends me this gif

image

and I wanted to send it to him tonight so I went to Google “black man turning off lamp” but Google autofill changed it to “black man turning into jet” and I got this

image

Long story short it’s 1am and I’ve been laughing at this for approximately 20 years

15 hours ago // 22,304 notes

dickspeightjr:

dickspeightjr:

what did hitler say right before he died

i did nazi that coming

just kidding hitler killed himself

(Source: caleb-denecour)

15 hours ago // 36,117 notes

Each time I’m asked to tell about myself, I find myself starting the same way: “My name is Kelsey and I’m nineteen..”
but what I’d really like to say is:
“My name means island of the ships but once
I found a translation that said I’m a burning shipwreck-
not a burning ship but a ship that has caught fire
after the wreckage and well, I’d say that’s more fitting.”

I’ve learned that people don’t have time for about me’s.
They need two things: a name and an indication you’re someone special.

The doctors, they want facts not details.
“I broke my leg when I was three, it’s a funny story actually-“
The right or the left?
Conversation over.

The teachers, they want interests, hobbies.
You’re sad, yes, but what do you like to do?

The adults are a spew of questions.
What school do you go to? What classes are you taking?
What do you plan on becoming? Got a boyfriend?
No, stop.

People my own age are the worst.
“I’m planning on an English degree with a concentration in creative writing.”
Yeah, aren’t we all. So how many times have you, you know,
done it?

I’m pulled apart, my interests travelling highway 2
my goals at a stop light at traffic hour,
my medical history on a billboard for the world to see.
But what about me?

Where’s the chance to say,
“I hang on to fistfuls of poetry like loose change in my pockets,
and I keep waiting for the day that the world turns upside down
so I can swim with the stars.
I’m not afraid of darkness, it’s a loneliness I can empathize with it.
It’s the blackholes like cigarette burns inside of me that get troublesome.
I walk through graveyards and read the dashes between years,
each a story I’ll never know. Sometimes I create my own.”

No one, none of us know who we are anymore.

Kelsey Danielle, “I Was Told to Write and About Me and This is What Happened” (via ignify)

15 hours ago // 17,480 notes

vagisodium:

vagisodium:

i bet my tongue is stronger than yours wanna find out

this post has 99,000 notes can you guess how many people have made out with me since i made it the answer is 0

15 hours ago // 204,899 notes